Nature's Bounty

Today we went for a short walk (I am still recovering from a swollen, purple, grotesque toe so can't walk far. That's another story. OK, not a story. I tripped over nothing and managed to really hurt my toe. I took pictures, but I guess I will refrain from posting them. Although they are pretty cool-looking. Anyway, hence the short walk. If it wasn't for my toe we would have hiked 10 miles, easy)

Along the way, Claire picked me some lovely wild flowers:

Not to be outdone, Gavin picked me his first such offering:

Of course I love both gifts equally, even though one is in water on the counter and one is in the compost.

New Dress

Would PETA approve of Claire's zoo?

Yes!

Finally earning their keep

My 18-plus year plan to avoid doing housework is finally coming to fruition.

(The rag Gavin has was used as a fingerpaint rag yesterday, it is not (just) filth from the floor)

Pretend

"Pretend I am a baby kitty and pretend you are a mama kitty but pretend you are really a human baby and pretend Gavin is the grandmother and pretend that I am really a manatee but I am pretending to be a puppy. And pretend we went to the ball but pretend that the baby kitty was crying because it missed its mama and pretend that we were mermaids that went swimming. Can real mermaids talk? And then let's pretend that there was a bad guy and an ugly stepsister."

Pretend to know how to play satisfactorily by the end of all the instructions.

Our Patient

I've watched enough Gray's Anatomy to know that kidney function is very important. The lizard's kidneys seem to be working just fine. The formerly-squished mosquito is also looking quite healthy, although no evidence of kidney function in the bottom of the tupperware.

Not so leaping lizard

So we are finally outside after being cooped up on a coldish, wettish day. I am sweeping leaves, Claire is just coming out after putting shoes on (shamingly, it's almost 5 and she is in her PJ's - still) and Gavin is playing with the shallow dog dish that is full of water and leaves and...an unfortunate lizard who had clearly been stuck in there for just a little too long. I learn this when Claire says, "Gavin has a lizard!" I run over and Gavin drops the two bits of lizard from his hands. After the obvious inital thought, "Oh sh*t- Gavin is going to be a serial killer because he tore this lizard in half" I realize that one piece is just the tail and lizards tails are meant to do that. It doesn't make me feel better at all. The lizard lay there, watching as its tail twitched and curled and squirmed around. For like, 10 minutes. Seriously. Instead of being a take-charge, no-nonsense sort of mom, all I could do was keep the kids away and consider what a terrible way for this creature to go...watching motionless as its unattached tail put on quite a show. I knew I should put it out of its misery or at least get rid of the sickeningly active tail or something. As it turns out, it's a good thing I didn't because the lizard made a recovery of sorts and is now safe and warm in a tupperware container on our counter. We'll see if he makes morning. Maybe I will release him into the garage where every summer we seem to have several that crap extensively down the wall. Gross. Anyway, the tail is still out on the porch. It finally, finally stopped moving, but I am sure it you poked it it would give one more flip. Shane assured me that they eject their tails and then the tails twitch as a distraction while they get away. I hope it was that and not my sweet little son displaying the first signs of sociopath-ism. (I just looked into the container to check the status of our patient. He still seems to be alive-ish. The mosquito that I killed and put in ther for his dinner has also come back to life. We've got freaking pet semetary (sic) over here.)

Balloon Giggles

Claire and JT

2006:


2009:

Meme about Me Me

Lora tagged her readers to answer the following questions. I do as I am told.

This is the famous "Ten Questions" as popularized by James Lipton on "Inside the Actor's Studio," originated by French television personality Bernard Pivot, after the Proust Questionnaire.

1. What is your favorite word?
Right now it is enthusiasm. I recently met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. He told me what he loved most about her was her enthusiasm for life, for people, for adventure. It is a quality that makes her shine and draws people to her. I often think about what he said. It's so easy to approach things with cynicism and weariness, but what joy genuine enthusiasm brings! I strive to have more of it in my life.

2. What is your least favorite word?
It may be a cop out, but I think all words have merit. Even the vile ones (yes, I mean that word) or the sappy and vaguely annoying ones, like bosom. I guess carp doesn't do much for me. Nor does rhinoplasty.

3. What turns you on?
Feeling like everything that needs to be done is done and being at peace. But that never happens, so laughter. Yes, laughter does it for me.

4. What turns you off?
Selfishness. This is an umbrella answer for so many wrongs in the world. Name one, and I will explain why its root cause is selfishness.

5. What sound do you love?
The sound the turning of a page makes when I am reading after everyone else is asleep.

6. What sound do you hate?
Alarm clocks going off. It's never OK. If I spent less time indulging in #5, this might be less of an issue.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Well, of course the one that can be noun, verb, adjective, adverb etc is so effing versatile, it's hard to beat. However, I appreciate creativity in expression, which the over-use of this particular word limits. But what the f**k do I know, anyway?

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
This one is fun, it's like being a kid and being asked what you want to be when you grow up. (Claire said she wants to be an animal doctor and an astronaut...the cost of college is really going to sting...) Hmmm...now that I am thinking about it, I am remembering why I was a Liberal Arts major. I don't really know what I want to be when I grow up. There are lots of professions I admire and am totally impressed by, but what would I actually like to do...uh...maybe be a smarty-pants tenured English Lit prof. Although wouldn't the far-too-earnest undergrads drive me crazy? Probably. Or something with horses...Horse Whisperer! That's it!

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Um, be the president. Sure the plane is pretty cool and there are some other perks, but who needs the stress...

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gate?
Come on in, they are waiting for you.

Clean Up Crew

I cleaned out the van yesterday, about 2 weeks past the point where the situation had become dire. Gavin was climbing in and out of the seats while I was cleaning and when I looked up from vacumning, there he was munching on some wheat thins that have been there since...well, I hope just since Christmas. He also rummaged up some batteries. I removed the batteries, but let him continue eating the wheat thins. They may have been extra crisp, but you know those things have enough preservatives to last a good number of years. He looks so pleased with his discovery, doesn't he?

Kiss kiss

Gavin has started kissing. Very open-mouthed and wet for the moment.

Royal Obsession

I don't buy into the whole little-girl-as-princess thing, since it makes me think of - well, I can't really think of what it makes me think of, other than 'my super-sweet-sixteen' brattiness and fingernail polish and taking too long to get ready in the morning. For pre-school. I have never been a girly girl. I wouldn't classify Claire as a girly girl either. Except she is obsessed with princesses. I don't call her princess, I don't talk them up, I avoid watching Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty when I can because they are terrible (Sure, we have them, but sorry to all Disney purists, but really, try watching them again. They are not good.) I am not anti-princess per se, but I don't hype them with princess lunchboxes and princess shirts and princess swimsuits and princess forks and princess toilet paper, although i am totally guilty of buying princess fruit snacks, sugary little nuggets of not much (but they do have some vitamin C! I tell myself) But obsessed with princesses my little girl is. As are all her peers. I guess it is just a phase and it's romantic and there's dancing and everyone loves you and you're beautiful and you get to wear glass slippers and you live in a castle and there are usually horses...wait a second, I actually really like the sound of that whole princess gig! What have I been missing out on??
Anyway, today was Princess Day (really Prince and Princess Day but there are no boys in her class right now) at gymnastics. I told her that about 30 minutes before we had to leave and within seconds all the costumes were strewn about the place and she had her wings and crown on, and magic wand/sceptre in hand. On the way to class, she told me that the ugly stepsisters didn't think I was a handsome prince. Oh no? I said. "No. I think you are a handsome prince, but the ugly stepsisters probably think you are just a girl with flat hair who can't go to the ball." Fine. I don't care what those bitches think anyway. I mean, after all, they are ugly, so to hell with them. And my hair is rather flat...And I am a girl. Anyway.
I am not privvy to what goes on behind the glass at gymnastics, but the girls all seemed to have fun fun fun with this theme. Afterwards, Claire whispered in my ear that she got married to Mr. Jose, one of the instructors. I went over to him and said that I understood that he was my new son-in-law. He turned bright red (I think he may have thought I was accusing him of something) and talked about how they really got into the theme and there was also a wicked witch (natch) and Claire's wand was so great blah blah blah... I should have eased his pain and told him that Claire also gets married to me, to the dog, to her toys...she is not picky, nor is she entirely sure what getting married means...just that you get to dance and wear a cool dress and then you are married and live happily ever after. Ahhh, the fairytale.
Once we got home, it was only a matter of minutes before Gavin was wearing the wings. I wonder if he will go through a princess phase too. I am totally fine with that (Because fairies I like. hahah!), but I am not painting his fingernails until he's at least five.

(Totally not-quite-related: Blogger is telling me to check the spelling (or existence, I suppose) of the word brattiness. They suggest that maybe I meant fattiness. Really? Fattiness? Hmm. Who knew.)