In progress...

Gummy and I are fixing up Gavin's room - jungle-style. The random yellow thing is a beak of a soon-to-be parrot. Finished pics to come.

8 Weeks

It's hard to believe Gavin is 8 weeks old today. The things he can do:

• Smile (with some coaxing, but the result is truly worth the effort.)
  
• Hold his head up
• Say "Goo!"
• Scream bloody murder (he doesn't do it often, but he can bring the roof down when he gets going)
  
• Cuddle
• Compete with Dad for title of "Gassiest Scott".
• Fight sleep, but fortunately, not at night.
  
• Follow us with his eyes.
• Be incredibly cute (mother's bias notwithstanding, for two regular-looking people, Shane and I have very beautiful babies!)

He is probably close to 10 lbs, although we won't know for sure until his appointment next week. He already has more meat on his bones than Claire ever did, and I've taken to calling him my chunky monkey, although he is not really even chubby.

He loves to be held, all the time and is happiest (and sleepiest) after nursing while laying his head on my breast, or the "boob pillow".

I have a month left before going back to work and I want to relish every moment, as it will be the only time in our lives that we spend so much time together, a thought that has me tearing up as I type.

Two months ago, we were sharing our first night together in the hospital. Seems like I've had him forever and at the same time like it was just yesterday we were getting up at 4:45am to be at the hospital for the c-section by 5:30. We left Claire snuggled up in bed and drove to Seton.

Things at the hospital were very business-like and before I knew it, I was being wheeled into the operating room. Within an hour of that, we had a new son! It took a little work to get past the scarring left from previous surgeries (appendix, adhesions, Claire) but Dr. Binford had anticipated as much and had another surgeon with her for assistance. Once they started to bring Gavin into the world, there were exclamations of what a big boy he was. Not being able to see anything, I thought perhaps I was giving birth to some sort of over-sized freak. Turns out, he was just a "healthy" 8lbs 13 oz.



This time around, I was all right after the surgery since Dr. B took her time getting in. Gavin, however, had some immediate difficulties, including a low APGAR score. When they tested again, he was fine, but his respiration was not. While I was in recovery, he spent some time with his head in an 'oxyhood' to get rid of the fluid in his lungs, so once again, I was separated from my baby for several hours. With Claire it was because I needed the recovery, this time it was because of Gavin's breathing issues, which resolved themselves soon enough.



I was settled in my room for what seemed like ages before they brought him in. Each time the door opened, I asked my mom or Shane whether it was Gavin...I was disappointed several times. Shane stayed with Gavin while all this was going on, with quick visits to see me as well. FINALLY they brought Gavin in to me. "Big boy" or not, he seemed tiny to me. We had some trouble getting started with the nursing so I stripped him down (after saying something drug-induced like "He's mine, right? I can do what I want, right?") so we could have some skin-to-skin contact to get things sorted out, which seemed to do the trick. His respiration remained too rapid for the first 24-hours and they had to keep checking his glucose (protocol for "big" babies - 8 lbs 12oz they don't check glucose, 8lbs 13oz, they do. It involved piercing his tiny little heel for a blood sample every hour or so, poor thing) Gavin stayed in the room with us most of the time, and was very sweet and snuggly from the very beginning.



Having Claire and Gavin cuddled next to me for the first time was one of the proudest moments of my life - my two little munchkins!


When we were released, I was nervous, even though we had done this all before. I was sure that Gavin was secretly wanting to stay with the far more competent nurses. (Keep in mind, I was still on 2 percocet every few hours!) It occurred to me at some point (a full day or so later) that this wasn't a stranger, but the same little person that had grown inside me for months...of course he wanted to be with me - I was what he knew best...to say nothing of the fact that I continued to be his only source of nourishment! Those feelings of Gavin's disdain seem irrational in retrospect, but were very real for me. Another irrational fear was the one I had after his one week pediatrician visit where his weight hadn't come up enough. It was an overwhelming fear/feeling that something bad was going to happen to him. I couldn't even express this feeling...when I tried, I ended up crying...to Shane, at the dinner table, in the car with Sarah. Again, a feeling so real and so terrifying that I can't adequately describe it. As he has grown and thrived, that feeling has gone away, thank goodness, but the fear will always remain. Hormones, sleep deprivation, whatever it is that makes new moms crazy...come on...don't we have enough to contend with?!? Shane is fantastic through all of my craziness. Just a calm, reassuring presence reminding me that everything will be fine...that we would sort out the nursing, that his lungs would be OK, that we'll get through it all, just fine.

So here I am with a baby, not even a newborn anymore. Time flies by so fast. How can I bear to leave him with strangers in a month? I am not done hoarding him!
He is my last baby...two is the perfect number for us. So all of Gavin's "first-times" are also last times. I feel such a need to remember everything..the sensations and sounds and smells - like an obsession. I shouldn't be so obsessed and just enjoy my last month...for goodness sake, I am just going back to work, not leaving them forever (I hope!) We are luckier than most to have the things we do, and our family, so why do I feel overwhelmed with such bittersweet feelings? Shouldn't they just be sweet?

(Not) Sleeping With The Fishies

This is the first time Gavin has actually noticed the fish on the mobile on his swing. He focuses a lot more now and is interested in what is going on around him, or going around over him, in this case! Our little boy is growing up!

video taken Jan 14th, 2008



If you notice, one of the "fishies" is not a fish. We misplaced the original fish and Claire and Shane rigged up a replacement...it's a small white teddy bear with the added embellishment of a plastic horse. Also added was a small toy padlock (or "key lock" as Claire calls it) attached to the sea horse. Pimp my swing!

Going Green

The other night, Shane was coloring with Claire and he "painted" her toenails purple with washable marker. She was very excited about her first pedi.

About 15 minutes later, Claire came into the family room with some additional body art. She colored her face, belly, left foot and her ENTIRE lower right leg green. My initial reaction was - what did you do?!? I didn't say it, but she easily read it on my face and got embarrassed and started to cry. Of course it wasn't a big deal and my initial reaction wasn't fair. I assured her that she was not in trouble and we all had a good laugh.

(I need to temper my reactions, even when something might mean a little more work or inconvenience for me - within reason of course!)

Sleeping Beauty

Baby Pics Jan. 8th-12th, 2007

Gavin is almost 6 weeks old! He is out of newborn clothes, is pooping less and looking around more. It's incredible the amount he has changed in such a short time, although pictures don't show it much.

His eyes are still blue, but I imagine they will be turning brown before too long. They are much darker than Claire's were at his age. He is stricken with a case of baby acne which, according to the experts, is worst at his current age but should clear up in a few weeks. (My poor little greasy baby - initials GB are appropriate!) There is not much you can do about it - no stridex or clearisil just yet. He is cute enough to overlook a few blemishes anyway! His head is really strong and when he has tummy time he has no problem looking up and around. We go to bed around 10:30 or 11 and he wakes up at 3 or 3:30, after a new diaper and a snack, he is back to sleep until around 6. Not bad! We are expecting a smile any day.

That's the Gavin update for 1/13/2007!

Puppy Love

Nicole, Gavin and I went to "look" at a puppy that Nicole "might" get. Needless to say, it's impossible to look at a puppy and not fall in love immediately. Claire was quite smitten as well. Poor Rosie just can't compete with a brand new puppy!

Clarification: Nicole adopted the puppy...not us. We have enough critters around this joint!

Christmas

We had a great Christmas. Gummy was here for Gavin's birth and stayed right through the end of the month. Babu and Auntie Sarah drove from Florida together and arrived on the 17th.

I was still a little sore and tired from having Gavin, so it was great to be at home with everyone here. I had the house decorated before I went into the hospital with some finishing touches put into place afterwards, with Gummy's help.

Heidi came over and took a ton of family pictures. It is very difficult to get 7 people looking at the camera with eyes open and smiles in place. Gavin wasn't taking direction well, but Claire was very patient.

Christmas Eve, Kim came over as did Heidi and Dennis, Gibson, Sharon and Dennis's sister-in-law. It was a fun evening, followed by the requisite late-night, last-minute wrapping.

Leading up to Christmas, Claire was consistent in telling everyone that she wanted a pumpkin from Santa. Santa found out that pumpkins are hard to come by in December. Fortunately, group effort prevailed and she was not disappointed. She was very excited about Christmas Eve and Christmas, and it was so great because it was not about the gifts under the tree. She could see them and knew some were for her but was not whining to open them, nor did she get into the "I want this, I want that". One of her favorite things was wrapping up a present for Gummy. She was so excited about the wrapping job, that she really got into the spirit of giving and couldn't wait for Gummy to open the gift!

Christmas morning, after she had opened 4 or 5 gifts, she was content and we practically had to force her to open the rest of her gifts the next day. I am sure future Christmas Days will be much different! Even the way she says Santa right nowwill pass. It's really cute. I have it on video and will download.

The hardest part of such a great holiday - the anticipation of having everyone together and the enjoyment of our time - is that all too soon it comes to an end. I had a really hard time with it...darn those post-partum hormones. Where did the time go and where did my family go? I want everyone back.

Meeting Gavin

The night before Gavin's arrival

Big Sister

For months, Claire was excited about being a big sister. When she tried something new and was successful, she said with pride, "I am a big sister!". When she was unsuccessful, she would mournfully shake her head and say, "I am not a big sister." Heartbreaking.

Throughout the pregnancy she would check on Gavin by peering in my belly button. At night, she played the harmonica to my ever increasingly large tummy. From the first, she has taken her responsibilities very seriously.

On December 7th, at 8:03am, Claire officially became BIG SISTER when Gavin Bruce Scott was born. Claire came up to the hospital around 3pm. I made sure I was not holding the new baby when she arrived so I could give her all my attention. That was pointless as from the moment she walked in, she only had eyes for her new little brother. Soon after holding him for the first time, she announced, "I love 'Gabin'!" and has said the same just about every day since he arrived.

Her enthusiasm for helping with diapers has waned, but she is still very interested in what he is doing and whether or not he is looking at her. According to Claire, he is always looking at her.

We went to Whole Foods before Christmas and Claire enjoyed watching the kids ice skating on the soupy, watery ice rink...typical of outdoor rinks in Texas when it is 75 degrees! She started asking big girls that went by whether they were big sisters. They couldn't possibly hear her, but she turned to me, sighed and said, "No one can understand me." With tears welling, I found a little girl who I reckoned was a big sister and brought Claire over to talk with her. She was/is SO proud. I am not naive...I know the thrill will pass, and there will be times when she wishes he wasn't around and they will argue and annoy each other, but for now, she is so happy about her brother. I am very proud of her.

She is so sweet and so enthusiastic (sometimes overly so) about her brother. It makes me love her in a whole new way, although I didn't think that was possible. I ache when I can't do things with her and hope that she doesn't come to resent me or Gavin for the time we can't spend together right now. I know it's temporary, but each day she grows up a little bit more and I don't want to miss a second of it. I yearn to have her in bed with me, snuggled up like before, but until Gavin is bigger she has to sleep in her own bed. One day she won't even want to sleep with us and I hope that is not for many years yet...I am not done! Soon we'll have all 4 of us in there and that will be perfect for me!

Having Gavin has clarified how much I love my little girl. She is the best big sister around.