Big Sister

For months, Claire was excited about being a big sister. When she tried something new and was successful, she said with pride, "I am a big sister!". When she was unsuccessful, she would mournfully shake her head and say, "I am not a big sister." Heartbreaking.

Throughout the pregnancy she would check on Gavin by peering in my belly button. At night, she played the harmonica to my ever increasingly large tummy. From the first, she has taken her responsibilities very seriously.

On December 7th, at 8:03am, Claire officially became BIG SISTER when Gavin Bruce Scott was born. Claire came up to the hospital around 3pm. I made sure I was not holding the new baby when she arrived so I could give her all my attention. That was pointless as from the moment she walked in, she only had eyes for her new little brother. Soon after holding him for the first time, she announced, "I love 'Gabin'!" and has said the same just about every day since he arrived.

Her enthusiasm for helping with diapers has waned, but she is still very interested in what he is doing and whether or not he is looking at her. According to Claire, he is always looking at her.

We went to Whole Foods before Christmas and Claire enjoyed watching the kids ice skating on the soupy, watery ice rink...typical of outdoor rinks in Texas when it is 75 degrees! She started asking big girls that went by whether they were big sisters. They couldn't possibly hear her, but she turned to me, sighed and said, "No one can understand me." With tears welling, I found a little girl who I reckoned was a big sister and brought Claire over to talk with her. She was/is SO proud. I am not naive...I know the thrill will pass, and there will be times when she wishes he wasn't around and they will argue and annoy each other, but for now, she is so happy about her brother. I am very proud of her.

She is so sweet and so enthusiastic (sometimes overly so) about her brother. It makes me love her in a whole new way, although I didn't think that was possible. I ache when I can't do things with her and hope that she doesn't come to resent me or Gavin for the time we can't spend together right now. I know it's temporary, but each day she grows up a little bit more and I don't want to miss a second of it. I yearn to have her in bed with me, snuggled up like before, but until Gavin is bigger she has to sleep in her own bed. One day she won't even want to sleep with us and I hope that is not for many years yet...I am not done! Soon we'll have all 4 of us in there and that will be perfect for me!

Having Gavin has clarified how much I love my little girl. She is the best big sister around.