Last Day

Today was my last day at work. After 8 years at the same place, it still doesn't seem like I am really leaving...or have really left, as is now the case. In typical fashion, I left packing and finishing my good bye notes until the last minute and managed to be away from my desk at 5, so I hardly got to say an actual good bye to most of my team. As tight as I tried to make the ends, some are still loose, so I anticipate some kind of contracting/consulting role, at least for a little while.

I had a very nice farewell potluck with my team on Monday. People brought in some of the dishes they know I like (thank you, Jori!) and I took advantage of eating the things I never buy for myself...hello cheetos! (And good bye...since I won't be tempted at work, I don't know when we'll meet again, you fake cheezy crunchy, orangey, powdery bad choice of a snack you!) There was also a cake the size of my cubicle and some flowers. The group also gave me parting gifts...a 10-visit pass to Going Bananas and a Target gift card. So thoughtful!

One of our employees (who works for fun and not profit) treated Jori, Gracie and I to a manicure and pedicure which was so unexpected and a wonderful surprise. It was great to spend some time with Jori and Gracie away from the office (but during work!) but I felt a little dirty when I told them to make sure she hits bonus for the month!

Some of the upper-level managers had another going away gathering this afternoon and they gave me a $100 gift card to the salon at my fancy-pants gym. This on top of a farewell lunch out on Friday. I should have quit working every week of the past 8 years...how spoiled I've been!

I managed to end the day frantically throwing things in boxes and crying and sending last minute faxes and trying to solve a huge email crisis. Dear me.

While it's seriously hard for me to believe, I know things at the office will limp along despite my not being there trying to control everything. I've left the team in good hands, and all I have to do is let go...

And now I just need to find my place in my new life. Work has been such a big part of my everyday, that not having it may feel uncomfortable for a while. (To say nothing of not having the paycheck!) Broad generalizations ahead: it feels like the moms who never went back to work have no idea why leaving is such a big deal to me, and the moms who are working typically say, "I could never be a stay-at-home mother!". Having worked and now going to stay home, I am somewhere in between. This issue seems so black and white for many people...I suppose it's because if you don't stand firmly behind your choice, perhaps there's room to consider that it may be the wrong one? There are many right choices, and I am excited to try this new one on for size. Hope it fits!